I first accepted Christ as my savior during a revival at a church off of Utica Ave in Brooklyn, NYC when I was fourteen years old. During the alter call, my cousin sitting next to me gave me the final push to go up when she asked what I was waiting for. 

I told her that I would do it another day because I didn’t want to go up in front of all the people in the congregation that night. All she responded with was, “What if you don’t even make it home tonight?”

With that, I walked through the crowded congregation right up to the preacher who coached me through the sinner’s prayer. At fourteen, while I did understand the gravity of what I did, I didn’t take it seriously.

From Worldly Pursuits to a Quest for Meaning

The Allure of False Idols

Later that year, my parents moved our family to Arizona where we eventually started attending another church where I got baptised. I still didn’t take my relationship with God seriously, but I always kept in mind that He was walking with me. 

Mistake after mistake and stupid decision after stupid decision, I couldn’t help but feel the Lord’s grace in my life. After I graduated high school and went to college, along with the freedom to do whatever I wanted without my parents hounding me, I fell deeper into darkness. 

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the continual growth of separation in my relationship with Christ was taking me down a path I didn’t need to be on. Through it all, however, the Lord blessed me - I met the love of my life, who is now my wife and we started a journey together that we really never imagined. 

We had our first daughter early on and, with that, I left school to focus on supporting my family. 

From one dead-end job to another, from one apartment to another, we crawled and stumbled through many years of our marriage. I partied and partied. Then I partied some more. It’s literally by the grace of God that I’m alive today to write about it. 

I fell in love with the world and what it had to offer. My life continued chasing after that shiny, distant object with a magical allure but no real value. Writing these words only makes me feel that much more grateful that my wife stuck by my side through it all. 

Although I was living this worldly life, my search for God never ended.

A Journey Through Ideologies

Throughout the struggles, I kept wondering: were they all for naught? Or was there something I was meant to discover?

I studied New Age philosophy. I studied Buddhism. I studied the Communist Manifesto. I studied Marxism, which eventually led me to Satanism. 

The Satanist philosophy felt like a perfect fit for my life and how I had come to view the world. 

I started reading their essays and other philosophical readings with great intrigue. They claimed that they did not believe in the devil. And that it was just the symbolism of our rebellious nature. 

This all sounded extremely compelling to me, and fit my worldview at the time almost perfectly. Compounded with the magical side of it and my interest in the fantastical, it was all the more intriguing . . . until one night. 

I was in bed and reading through the satanic bible when I could just feel the darkness around me. The exact feeling can’t quite be put into words, but I immediately became terrified. Goosebumps spiked on my arms, and I closed the reading. 

I could barely sleep that night. I don’t remember exactly what I read that shook me so hard, but one thing struck me the next morning: GOD IS REAL. 

The Revelation: Finding Faith Amid Despair

A Chance Encounter

I never opened up that book again, but it was like a switch had flipped within me. I saw Satanism everywhere. 

Everything my friends and family said sounded like satanic tenets. Everything that came out of the tv sounded satanic. I suddenly realized that we were, and still are, living in the devil's playground.

I didn’t know what to do or where to start to get back on track with God. You would think a kid who grew up in church would think to start with the Bible, right? 

Then one day while waiting at a stoplight, I came across a homeless man who I felt compelled to give money to. 

After I gave him what I had in cash, he said “God bless you”, and asked me if I was going to church that night (it was a Tuesday, I think). 

When I replied no, the look he gave me shook my soul. 

His look softened and he calmly said there was a church down the street I should check out. 

That very next Sunday, my family and I went back to church, which might be the greatest thing I’ve ever done besides praying that sinner’s prayer at fourteen years old. 

Realizing the Presence of God and the Devil

The message that day hit my soul and got me interested in the Bible again. That was 3 years before the 2020 pandemic which brought “unprecedented” changes to our way of life. Another wake-up call. 

It was all I needed to refocus – GOD IS REAL and so is the devil. 

In this life, we must search in earnest for the TRUTH because it’s being deliberately hidden from us. 

I thought it was so uncool to talk about Jesus and his saving grace. I thought it was so uncool to think about God being right up above us watching down on our ignorance. 

Living in Faith: A New Perspective on Life

The Challenge of Connection

With my new frame of mind, I find it very difficult to connect with people. I no longer enjoy the things I used to enjoy the same way. 

Entertainment is no longer as entertaining. 

The music I enjoyed no longer sounds as good. 

I can’t stand doing small talk - not about the weather, not about sports, and not about whatever comes out of that screen in my living room.

Christians I come across and the churches I visit all seem to be sleeping at the wheel. 

No one seems able to tie together what we read in the Bible and what we see in this world. 

So I figured I’d put my thoughts on paper. 

Sharing the Faith

This site serves as part journal. 

Part testimony. 

Part cry out in the wilderness, “AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS???” 

It’s so much more than politics. So much more than Democrat vs Republican, Black vs White, or Rich vs Poor. 

I intend to share my thoughts, ideas, and theories through this medium and provide a way to share my faith proudly. 

The world should know that Faith Saved Me. And to put it directly, My faith in Jesus Christ saved me.